I’m sitting here in the office, staring out the window watching a light rain dance on the pavement outside. Been a warm January thus far, today it finally feels like winter. I suppose the weather is a good comparison as to what my emotions are going through right now. I am on my last pill, given to me by the doctor I visited 5 days ago, helping me rid my upper respiratory infection. I’ve been sick before, but not like this, not while I was alone without a warm place to go. I hope to be back at 100% within the next couple days.
A lot of bullshit has been running through my mind while I’ve been ‘down and out’. No one can know how worthless I feel being as unproductive as I have been these past 2 weeks, though I know when I do finally pull through, I can get back to making a difference in my life, maybe others as well. I constantly think of my sister Shawna, constantly worrying about her and feeling proud of her all at the same time. I always have my mother on my mind as well, she just text me a couple days ago telling me she and her new husband finally bought their first house. That’s very good news, and I am very proud of her as well. This means the home I buy for her, would most likely be a summer home or a getaway. I am still buying my mother a home.
During my down time, I’m realizing I can’t do much of anything unless I am healthy. I need to start putting myself first, or at least adding myself to the list. I have a lot to be thankful for, I have a lot of passion and drive, and a lot of new friends thanks to the internet. You all keep me going more than you know, more than I could ever express. Like I said in the very begining, I am doing this blog strictly for me, to show myself what I can accomplish, what I am capable of. A literal reminder of my journey. Having you read it, interact with me and befriend me simply brings life to it. It’s not something I expected or planned for, but it keeps my fire going, it instills my drive and reminds me someone actually cares. Thank you.
For those of you keeping track, I am definitely feeling a lot better than I did a week ago. I am not one to get sick very often, but I know a great deal of it was created by my unhealthy eating habits (constant fast food, irregular eating and workout schedule). I’m also aware now more than ever, that sleeping in my car isn’t the healthiest experience. But I’m still going through with it. I’d rather pay $0/mo sleeping in my car, than $1000/mo on a box. I actually got better sleep as soon as I went back to sleep in my car than I did sleeping at the hotel for 3 nights. Chew on that!
Here’s to healthy eating, taking vitamins, cutting out soda and fast food, keeping my workout schedule consistent, and continue to save that dollar. I appreciate all of you that showed me love over the past 2 weeks, and throughout my entire stay here in socal, living in my car to better my life – LOL well it will get better soon.
Be Well & Stay Passionate.